When did I turn into a size ......

I'm gonna say size 6 in relation to that but I had the opportunity to see a recent pic and I realize the South Beach Diet is a farce. My true diet consisted of shots and friend chicken for a significant portion of my time there. I went from a size 2 to a 4 (you gotta keep it even!!!!). Here on the West Coast I still see myself as a blond beauty, but a nice and dear new friend of mine took of picture of me and I feel like the damn Sperm Whale from Reno 911.

Right now I'm spinning. As I close my eyes I see myself turning from Jenifer Hudson to Beyonce. And I am telling you I am a DREAMGIRL!!!!!



* Dear lord if you ever see me on F-A-T Chance please kill me.